33 Reflections: What I’d Tell My Younger Self
I’m turning 33.
🎂 Birthdays are usually a good time to stop and think about what you’ve learned so far, right?
This year, I’m sharing 33 reflections that have helped me figure things out. These lessons come from my own experiences—navigating life with chronic mental illness, figuring out I’m neurodivergent, learning from Buddhist and Te Ao Māori philosophies, leaning further into my leftist political views, and working as an operations and project manager.
Some of these reflections are practical, some are personal, and a few might even make you laugh. (Yes, I’m talking about dinosaur-shaped flossers.)
These words are my way of saying thanks for being part of my journey and for supporting my work. To celebrate, I’m offering you two special gifts:
1️⃣ One FREE pattern from my Ravelry store.
2️⃣ Entire Aroha Knits Ravelry library for just $75.
Think of it as a birthday gift from me to you. 🎁 To access your gifts, sign up for my email list below. You’ll receive an email with both the code for your free pattern and the code for Store bundle.
So, take a minute, get comfortable, and let’s dive into these 33 lessons. I hope they resonate with you, make you think, or just remind you that we’re all figuring things out as we go.
1. First, stand in the river; then, learn its currents.
You can’t move forward until you meet yourself where you are.
Embrace your emotions and surroundings, not necessarily because you agree, but to accept them. Comprehension may not be a magic wand, but it aids in maneuvering through obstacles by detecting feelings of stress and triggering introspection with inquiries such as, "What's causing these emotions?" and "What actions can I initiate?"
2. The quiet path holds the strongest roots.
The magic is often hidden in the mundane.
True growth and triumph are often the fruits of continual, humble efforts. Saving money, honing a talent may seem monotonous, but the ultimate rewards are invaluable. Cherish the unremarkable—it's often a beacon guiding you towards the right path.
3. Grief is a stone; in time, it becomes a tool.
Grief doesn’t disappear, but it can become lighter.
The losses we face are part of our life story, teaching us to integrate our pain into who we are. Grief can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to define us. As time passes, we can find the strength to carry it with grace, allowing it to influence us without letting it control our identity.
4. Strength starts from the center.
Strength starts from the center.
The journey of strength starts at the heart of it all - your core. Whether it's the physical core of your body in yoga or weightlifting, or the metaphorical core of your inner self. Harness your values, set your boundaries, and deepen your self-awareness. That's where you'll find the steadiness and power to meet any challenge with grit and grace.
5. One step follows another; together, they build the path.
Small steps build big changes.
Habit stacking—adding new habits to existing ones—helps create a sustainable routine. For example, if you already brush your teeth every morning, add a minute of stretching right after. Over time, these small actions compound into meaningful progress.
6. Time flows like water; energy burns like fire.
Time isn’t the only metric that matters.
Some tasks may take little time but drain your energy, while others may consume hours yet invigorate you. For example, replying to emails can be tiring, whereas a creative pursuit can be energizing. Balance your tasks by considering both time and energy.
7. The mind is a river; write your stories on the shore.
Your brain is for thinking, not storing.
Trusting solely in memory can lead to inefficiency and tension. Embrace systems such as calendars, to-do lists, or note-taking apps to unload information, affording your mind the freedom to soar in realms of creativity and problem-solving.
8. What is not planted does not grow.
Intentions need structure to become reality.
In the absence of a plan, even the most crucial tasks risk being overlooked. Be it a work commitment or a moment of self-nourishment, inscribing it in your calendar breathes life into it, making it real and attainable.
9. Listen to the drum within; it knows the way.
Sometimes, the simplest anchor is the most powerful.
Meditation may seem overwhelming, particularly when thoughts whirl. Yet, by attuning to your heartbeat—a constant, calming pulse—you can root yourself and bring the practice of mindfulness within reach.
10. Discomfort bends the branch; pain breaks it.
Discomfort is growth; pain is a warning.
In the practice of yoga, discomfort often invites us to expand our limits, while pain alerts us to potential damage. This wisdom is not just for the mat, but for life. Recognizing the difference empowers us to courageously step beyond our comfort zones, yet do so with care and wisdom.
11. Endure the storm to know the strength of your roots
Discomfort is a teacher, not an enemy.
The physical challenge of maintaining a yoga posture cultivates patience and resilience. It serves as a reminder that personal growth often necessitates weathering brief periods of discomfort. With consistent practice, your ability to bear it lengthens, and in turn, your inner strength blossoms.
12. The heart, akin to the unending sea, must ride its own swells.
Emotions are not to be shunned, but embraced.
Our hearts, like our bodies, feel discomfort when we grow. By dwelling in our feelings of sadness or unease, rather than evading them, we learn to understand and navigate them. This journey, while challenging, fosters emotional strength and resilience.
13. Even the smallest pebble can stir the stillness of an entire lake.
Minor shifts can pave the way to monumental changes.
Remember, you don't need to upend your entire existence to blossom. A few purposeful tweaks, such as rising a quarter of an hour earlier or setting aside five minutes for reflection each day, can gradually lead to a profound personal transformation.
14. The thorn teaches the hand to be wise.
Frustration is a sign you’re digging deeper.
In moments of frustration, there's often an underlying invitation to dive deeper. As you grapple with a new skill and find it challenging, it's a sign that you're moving beyond the superficial, and truly engaging with its intricacies.
15. The bird does not fly without first falling.
Practice is the art of embracing small failures.
Those minuscule hiccups, the off-key piano notes, the shaky yoga pose, they're stepping stones on the path of learning. Letting ourselves face them and power through is how we weave a tapestry of capability and self-assurance with time.
16. Sometimes, to truly see the tree, we must venture out of the forest.
Welcome the transformative power of distance.
In moments of perplexity, a shift in focus can illuminate the path to clarity. A leisurely stroll, a dive into creativity - such simple acts can offer a fresh lens to view your challenges through.
17. The weaver knows many patterns to make one cloth.
Generalists thrive by connecting the dots.
The weaver understands various patterns to create fabric, much like generalists connect knowledge from different fields. Generalists focus on recognizing intricate connections rather than mastering every area. They comprehend frameworks and processes, allowing them to adapt, identify patterns, and integrate insights into a cohesive understanding.
18. The heart's yearning seeks no justification.
Often, "simply because" is all the rationale we need.
Not every choice must be grounded in practicality. If chasing a degree or certification sparks joy, satisfaction, or a feeling of achievement, that's a powerful reason to pursue it.
19. The darkest night reveals the brightest stars.
Every story has its turning point.
The "dark night of the soul" is an intense period of struggle that eventually sparks change. Recognizing these periods in your life allows you to reflect on your journey, to see how far you've traveled, and to understand how they've sculpted you into who you are today.
20. The tree grows as the soil allows.
Context shapes who we are.
The circumstances we encounter, the resources we can reach, and the opportunities we are given all play a part in molding us into who we are. Recognizing this enriches our empathy and empowers us to tackle systemic issues head on.
21. The village heals as the individual heals.
Self-care cannot be solitary.
Solo self-care holds power, yet the magic of connection can be a balm in its own right. Be it a circle of support, a creative collective, or simply the warmth of dear ones, the strength of communal care is a tide that lifts all boats.
22. The rivers meets the sea; all become one
The best ideas live where things overlap.
In the same way, the most profound ideas are birthed in the confluence of diverse thoughts, fields, and experiences. Dare to bridge the gap between the unconnected— therein lies the potential for something truly remarkable.
23. Love, like the sun, shines on all.
Create the relationships that you want.
Love, in its truest form, is a transformative power that binds us all. It can be romantic, it can be friendly, it can be a journey within - it's all about genuine connection, compassion, and authenticity.
24. The mountain stands not by its ropes, but by its roots.
Resilience comes from within, not from pulling yourself up by mythical bootstraps.
True resilience stems from nurturing inner strength and embracing community support, rather than relying on the idea of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps," which overlooks real challenges. Genuine power involves fostering inner resilience and self-kindness with community backing.
25. I am not a Temple; I am a Garden.
I am no stone edifice; I am a vibrant oasis.
Seeing our bodies as temples implies a demand for unblemished perfection. But life, like a garden, is a dance of transformation and rebirth. It demands patience, care, and recognition of its cyclical nature. Re-envision your body as a nurturing space, a place of sensuality, delight and an ode to the untamed, flawed splendor of nature.
26. The wind blows where it will; thus we learn to sail.
Life unfolds without needing a reason.
Not all demands an explanation or a justification. Some things simply exist. It's about embracing life's uncertainties and learning to dwell in the experience, rather than questing for an external solution.
27. Take the path that brings you joy.
Remove the (small) barriers to taking care of yourself.
Tending to oneself need not be an intricate or grave task. If something as simple as a uniquely shaped flosser or a vibrant planner helps make self-care effortless, embrace it wholeheartedly.
28. The storm clouds the mind; wait for the sun.
Mental illness clouds your ability to see clearly.
As one grapples with the profound depths of mental illness, it's not uncommon for reason to fade into the background. This isn't a failure, it's merely a manifestation of the condition. The path to recovery is paved with kindness, support, and at times, the guidance of a professional.
29. The person and the commune, intertwined in a dance of growth.
Your might and your people, an unending force.
Your power, magnified by those who surround you, magnifies your community's strength in return. It's a relationship of mutual exchange - your existence, vitality, and contributions enrich the community, as the community uplifts and nurtures you in return. This boundless cycle of shared growth and care is the magic of belonging.
30. The wisdom of the past lights the path ahead.
Wisdom, like an heirloom, is a treasure passed down from generation to generation.
Our forebears' experiences, customs, and teachings are a wellspring of invaluable understanding. Be it cultural rituals, ancestral narratives, or historical awareness, their wisdom serves as our compass in present times.
31. The hand that holds the paddle steers the canoe.
Power is a gift—harness it with care.
Whether it's influence, privilege, or command, power carries the duty to act with kindness and integrity. Mindful stewardship of your power ensures it uplifts all, not solely oneself.
32. The spiral climbs; the past becomes the teacher, not the burden.
Growth isn’t linear; it’s a spiral.
Life may seem like a cycle of familiar trials, but with each revolution, you stand taller, enlightened. As you rise, recurring patterns lose their hold and transform into teachings instead of burdens.
33. Every unwritten story risks being lost in the sands of time.
Write it down, or it might disappear.
Documentation is the backbone of clarity. This is especially true in operations and project management, where details matter. Documenting everything creates a roadmap for others (and your future self) to follow, learn from, and build upon.